The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Chapters Help Us Move Forward. Books Change Our Direction.

I left Wieden+Kennedy Shanghai 2 years ago this month.

I have very special memories of my time there and these two people – Leon and Carina [both circled in the photo above, which was a gift from my planning team when I left W+K, even though they forgot to put Debi in there] – played a big part in that.

Sure they were pains in the ass and opinionated as all fuck [though Carina did it in a much nicer way than Leon ever could] but it was – and still is – an honour to be able to say they were on “our team”.

Now – by pure coincidence – they’re both moving onto their next adventure and that will mean there will be no more of my mob infecting the place [though I did find Chris, even if he got away with never having to work with me] so I just want to say thank you to them for all they did for me, the team and – most importantly – the work.

Their loss is a big one for everyone but no one could be anything but excited and happy for the bigger and better things they’re about to do.

So to Leon and Carina, go have a shitload of fun … but please make sure you hide stickers throughout the office before you leave.

Advertisements


Consolation Prize …

I have talked about my love of Martin Parr before, which is why you can imagine my excitement when I thought I was going to pull off the ultimate collaboration between him and my side project with the masters of metal.

For absolutely fair reason, it sadly didn’t come off, but I did get a nice gift as a way of thanks … which ironically, makes me only wish it had worked out even more.

When I pitched the idea, I was asked why I thought it was a good idea.

I said I didn’t, I just thought it was interesting and sometimes, that’s all we have to go on.

The best thing with working with people who only think creatively is they totally get that … that sometimes, the intrigue of an idea is more important than the actual outcome – even if it ends up not being what you quite hoped.

I get why we all look for certainty in what we do. There’s a lot riding on it … money, employment, business … but the problem with certainty is that it is built on compromise and convenience, where the outcome is safe rather than alive.

It’s why Martin’s Weigel’s wonderful case for chaos is such an important read.

I have long been an advocate of this approach.

While it can scare people, the reality is chaos can create what order can’t and when we are all looking for ways to infect, infiltrate and shape culture, the best way to do it is to offer them something they find interesting and resonant, rather than boring and right.



Be Interested In What Others Are Interested In …

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been invited to speak at a couple of conferences – in Hamburg, for the APG, and at ‘Closeness’ in London.

In both cases, I was asked to talk about the importance about empathy – something I’ve been banging on about for centuries.

And in both cases, I felt the best way to do it was to talk through the lens my Mum had taught me … which is the title of this post.

For an industry that is supposed to understand people, I’m surprised how few seem to really understand what that means.

Rather than understand hopes, dreams, fears, ambitions and contradictions … it seems we prefer to focus on the bits that are relevant to our business needs, without seemingly realizing the important role context plays in shaping how we live.

If you don’t get context, you don’t get people … and you don’t get context without investing time.

Not focus groups.

Not ethnographic studies.

But an on-going commitment to going down the rabbit hole of people’s lives to understand how they live and the nuances that separate each and every one of us.

You can’t do this if you want to ‘fast forward’ to the bits you have pre-determined will be useful to you.

You can’t do this if you want convenient answers to ‘sell your campaign’.

You can’t do this if you want answers rather than understanding.

This last point is especially important.

Frankly, understanding is becoming a lost art.

Understanding is built on emotional connection, not intellectual.

Where you leave your prejudices, barriers, filters, expectations and hopes at the door and focus. Asking questions to understand more about what someone is saying than to get the answers you want to your specific challenge.

It’s hard.

It takes real practice.

Because while you may appreciate every person has a story … it can only truly be revealed if you let them do it in their own way, in their own time, in their own words. Which means you might end up hearing things that makes no sense to you, even though it makes perfect sense to them … and while that might not initially seem valuable, you’ll soon realise it’s immense.

But all this takes time.

And takes a real commitment.

However it lets you go back with knowledge that enables you to make work that feels like it was born from inside the culture rather than from a bunch of observers.

Work that is filled with the nuances that makes the audience take notice.

Care.

React to.

Feel respect towards because it shows respect to them.

Or said another way …

Work that is resonant to culture rather than just relevant.

And it all starts by being interested in what others are interested in.

Not for commercial gain, but because you are interested in who people are.

It’s why my Mum is still teaching me how to live, 4 years after she has gone.

And now she is teaching others too.

Thank you Mum.



Gary V Proves The Importance Of Self Awareness …

As I’ve written a few times previously, I am not Gary Veynerchuck’s biggest fan.

From rewriting history to celebrating inauthenticity
… Gary seems to be an individual who represents almost the opposite of everything I value.

Of course, given he is more successful than I’ll ever be, you could argue you should listen to him rather than me – but then values shouldn’t be evaluated against what you have, but how you live.

Anyway I digress because I recently read something that I agree with him on.

No … this is not a joke.

It’s the art of delegation.

This is what Mr V said …

I agree with him.

Too many people completely miss the point of what delegation means.

They think it’s about handing over the shit you don’t want to do, but it’s not – it’s enabling colleagues to bring their talent and way of seeing the World into a project you’re working on in a way where they can win on their terms.

That doesn’t mean you have to blindly support whatever they do.

But it is about backing, supporting and encouraging them every step of the way.

Letting them do what they think is the way to win rather than expecting them to redo what you’d do.

To do that, you do have to let go of your ego.

To do that, you do have to have faith in the talent you work with.

To do that, you do have to want to see your team grow and progress.

In essence, you have to open the door to opportunity and let your team walk in and do their thing … it’s not about opening the door for only you to walk in and leave everyone else behind.

Making sure your team feel backed is vitally important.

Giving them the time and space to think, challenge and be challenged is everything.

But most of all, handing over the spotlight to them with your full support is – at least to me – what delegation is all about.

Not keeping things from them.

Not limiting what they want to do.

Not stopping them from forging their own direction and destination.

I know it can be hard, but it’s also worth it because while you are responsible for the standards being produced – doing it in a way that lets your team grow and develop is the foundation of management success … because the reality is when you get to run a department, success should be based as much on what your team achieves as what you personally do.

If they win, you win.

Simple as that.

Maybe there is hope for Mr V after all.

Maybe.

Though ‘a lack of ego’ and ‘Gary V’ have never appeared in the same sentence before and likely never will again.



It’s A Fine Line Between Pettiness And Revenge …

… and I have always struggled to walk that line properly, but fuck it … the person it’s about has screwed over so many people – including myself – to ensure they are able to maintain [and protect] their career and internal reputation.

Now I appreciate they never went out their way to bring anyone down.

And I know that deep down, they are not a bad person, just a very, very ambitious person.

But when you don’t back your people so you can look good to your bosses, then eventually you get what you deserve.

It might not be as much as the people they screwed over think they deserve … but when you know that their entire ‘reputation’ is built on very fragile foundations, you also know the slightest crumble in their carefully constructed ‘career veneer’ affects them deeply inside.

God, I’m such a bastard, but for good reasons.

After all, the brilliant Rupert Howell once said about me, “Robert is driven by hate, but in a relatively good way.”

Oh, and for the record, while this individual is not part of the post I wrote relating to When Work Tries To Destroy You, he is part of the reason – admittedly, a very small part – of why I started Corporate Gaslighting.



The Most Selfish Generation In History …

Hello … I’m back.

It was amazing.

OK, it was more for being with the family than the physical place … but that’s because I’m not a ‘stay-down-on-the-farm’ kind of person, though I appreciate some of you may suggest it’s more because I’m not a ‘pay-for-my-own-holidays’ kind of person.

Pah.

Anyway, I wanted to return with a post that matters a lot to me.

To be honest, all of them matter to me … but as of late, I’ve been writing stuff that matters more than most.

Things like female leadership, prejudice and when work tries to kill you

Well, while this isn’t connected to the industry I work in, it is about an issue very dear to me.

Living overseas is one of the greatest privileges you can have.

Sure, there are things you give up and miss – but what you gain more than compensates for it.

Case in point. I recently had dinner with Rodi and David in San Francisco.

The photo from the evening is at the top of this post.

None of us live here. None of us work here. None of us are from here.

In fact all of us live in totally different countries and come from different parts of the world.

Rodi is Australian/Ukrainian, David is Taiwanese and I’m British/Italian.

To make matters even more random, we all met in China.

Yet despite having all moved on from our time at Wieden+Kennedy Shanghai, we remain connected … not because of the company we worked at, but because of the generosity of the country we experienced.

This dinner represents what England has voted entire generations never to have.

It’s an act of utter selfishness.

Utter, utter selfishness.

So many in society like to bestow that label on the youth of the UK, but it’s not them.

It’s the Daily Mail reading, over 55’s who have enjoyed good fortune in their life but don’t want anyone else to have it. Who don’t want anyone else to evolve and grow because they don’t want to be left behind and feel less important.

Selfish, egotistical, bigoted and blinkered pricks.

The reality is my ability to live around the World has made my life unquestionably bigger, better and fuller.

Almost everything I have and treasure is because of my life outside of England.

That is not in any way meant to say life in England is bad – far from it – but anyone who thinks there is greater value staying isolated versus expanding the possibilities of life through adventures, experiences and friends that exist beyond the borders of our shores has either never done it or is frightened of it.

May I have dinners with friends in countries none of us come from for many years to come.



Together We Can Make It Better …

I know I said there’d be no posts while I’m away, but this is important.

As many of you know, a few weeks ago I wrote about a management style where the goal appears to be to systematically destroy the confidence and self-worth of their employees.

While I suggested a few possible reasons for their approach, the reality is – intentional or not – what they’re doing is abuse, pure and simple.

I am well placed to say this because – as I also wrote in the post – I had once been a victim of it.

Well that post hit a big nerve because within 72 hours, it had been shared thousands of times on Twitter and I received over 250 stories of abuse from people who previously thought they were alone in facing this cruel and debilitating experience.

I must admit I was initially shocked how many people had been affected until I remembered the reason this topic is so rarely talked about is because one of the ways the abusers get away with it is they make the victim feel so worthless, they believe it’s all their fault and so keep quiet out of shame for their supposed inadequacies.

Reading so many stories of pain made me both very sad and very angry and I knew right them that I wanted to do something about it, but the reality is I didn’t know what I could do.

Then I got an email from someone I used to work with …

Rather than tell me they had gone through a similar situation at work – or even their thoughts on my post – they asked if what I’d written was about them.

After telling them that if they feel guilt, then maybe they needed to take a look at how they conducted themselves [because at no point had I mentioned any names or places in my post] I then realised there was a way I could try and help stop this situation happening to others.

Let me introduce you to a site I’ve set up called Corporate Gaslighting.

Corporate Gaslighting [available at TheyTriedToKillMeButI.Live] is my attempt to try and stop this slow, systematic abuse from bad management while also hoping to help those who have been victims of it.

The goal is simple, but hard.

Simple because all I want to do is fill it with people’s [anonymous] stories of their abuse.

Hard because I know how damaging these experiences are and how survival often means burying them deep down inside and kidding yourself they don’t exist … even though you know very well they do and they’re eating you alive.

But the benefits will hopefully be worth it for two key reasons.

For management … my hope is they come and read the stories to be reminded of the responsibility they have for the people they manage. And if they end up reading something they think is specifically about them … then maybe it will force them to look at their actions and behaviours and – for their sake – start to change them.

For victims … my hope is that by either writing their story or reading others, they’ll not only realise they’re not alone in this slow, viscous destruction of self-confidence, but the reasons for it happening have absolutely nothing to do with them and all to do with their managers. If I achieve this, my hope is it helps removes the stigma of guilt and failure we are all made to feel we brought on ourselves … because then it will remove the power abusive managers have over us … allowing us start to valuing ourselves again and [hopefully] giving us the strength to take action rather than only take the abuse

But none of this can happen without stories which is why this post is directing people to the site where they can learn how they can get involved to help themselves and help others.

Corporate Gaslighting isn’t about revenge. It’s about change, help and encouragement.

With that in mind, it has been designed to be a safe place to be vulnerable.

No names. No comments. No judgement.

What happens next is up to you.

I am just here to help.

Thank you.

Comments Off on Together We Can Make It Better …