The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


We Are All The Same. We Are All Different.

So for the past 2 days I’ve been writing a lot about equality.

It’s a subject very close to my heart.

To be honest, it always has been but being a Father has raised it’s importance.

In some ways, having Otis grow up in China made things easier as it meant he was exposed to different cultures from day 1 but I didn’t want to take that for granted, so when we knew we were going to move to the US, I spoke to a friend of mine – a Brit, who is black and lives in the US – about the [thankfully small] issues his kids faced being in the US and what he thought parents should teach their kids to stop that happening.

His response was phenomenal.

In essence there were 2 parts.

The first was the obvious one – treat every person from every culture the same way – with respect, appreciation and consideration.

So far so good … but it was the next bit that really made an impact.

Don’t tell Otis different cultures are all the same.

Don’t ‘whitewash’ our differences, acknowledge them … enrich Otis with understanding about different cultures history, struggles and values.

Or said another way … celebrate the differences but treat everyone the same.

Brilliant.

Absolutely brilliant.

In a World where so much hate is built simply on ‘being different’, helping break down those walls through knowledge and understanding is even more powerful than just saying ‘don’t see the colour, see the person’.

Of course it’s vital to treat people the same, but understanding the background isn’t just a mark of respect – it’s a way to celebrate strengths and understand behaviours that you may otherwise judge for no other reason than your own in-built prejudices.

So among Otis’ books on animals and dinosaurs and Peppa fucking Pig, he has books that explore the cultures associated with Africa [‘Africa Is Not A Country’ & ‘Sundiata’], Mexico [‘Tequila Worm’] and the Middle East [‘My Fathers Shop’].

Now I appreciate some people may think we are going a bit over-the-top with this.

After all, Otis is only 2 and a half.

But, as I have written before, I’ve learnt not to care what others think.

I’ve learnt people often mistake being a parent with being an ‘expert’ on kids.

I’ve also learnt kids develop so many of their behaviours by being masters of mimicking how their parents behave.

[Jill hopes she can stop him fall victim to ironic t-shirts and Birkenstocks]

At the end of the day, we believe we have a responsibility to him – and society as a whole – to encourage the values and beliefs that can enable him to be a good human being … someone who doesn’t just contribute to society in terms of what he achieves, but in terms of what he helps others achieve.

Of course we know he will face challenges.

Peer pressure. Unexpected circumstances. The allure of mischief.

And while we can’t dictate how he handles those things, we hope we can prepare him to deal with them in a way where he can hold his head high … which is why on top of being loving, supporting parents, we will buy him books on understanding different cultures, give him dolls to play with and encourage him to play with his beloved pink kitchen.

Being a Father is one of the most amazing things that has happened in my life.

I feel embarrassed to admit I had no idea how good it would be … and while being a good parent is basically a matter of trying things with good intent, I want to say a big thank you to Karrelle Dixon … because he may not realise it, but he made a big difference to how my little boy will grow up. Not in terms of respect, but in terms of understanding … and when you think about it, that’s one of the most wonderful gifts you can give anyone.

I hope my parents would think we’re doing good with their grandson.

I think they would.

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To My Beloved Otis. Always Run Towards Happiness ….

Following on from yesterday’s post, I want to talk about the dismay I feel about the Australian government asking for a referendum on whether gay marriage is acceptable.

What offends me even more than the fact this shouldn’t even be an issue is that when there are issues that should have input from the nation – from immigration to military intervention – the decisions are made without any level of consultation.

It makes absolutely no sense, unless the government think gay marriage is more dangerous than defending Australia’s shores.

Actually, they probably think it is.

One of the reasons this issue bothers me is that on top of everything else, my son Otis has an Australian passport.

OK, he also has a British and Canadian one … but should he wish to settle in Australia when he’s older, I want him to have all the rights heterosexuals have, which is why I hope, should he ever need reassurance, he see’s this message that I wrote about marriage equality a while back and knows his Mum and Dad love him and will always support him in his quest for happiness and fulfillment.



Where You End Up Is Never Just Because Of One Journey …
September 19, 2017, 6:15 am
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Confidence, Culture, Emotion, Empathy, Management

A long time ago I wrote about how I had contacted everyone who I felt had positively influenced my career.

I called them ‘pivotal people’.

I wanted to thank them for their help and let them know that I believe anything I achieve is because of them – even if they had only been in my life for a short time.

I’ve got to admit I don’t know why I did it, but it felt right even if it ended up confusing most of the recipients.

The reason I’m writing this is because I recently read a fantastic article about the Chairman of Huddersfield Town football club.

Now Chairman of Football Clubs are rarely praised – especially in national newspapers – but Dean Hoyle is not your average Football Chairman.

When your team get into the Premiership for the first time in their existence, most Chairman would probably sit back and bask in the glow of adoration, but not Dean.

First of all he honoured a promise he made to the clubs diehard fans that if they kept buying season tickets during his tenure, he would only charge them £100 if they got to the Premiership.

Now you might think he only said that because he never thought it would happen, but not only did he keep his promise [and for reference, the cheapest season ticket available for any club in the Premiership is £299] by offering that deal, he ensured he built a dialogue with the diehard fans … the ones who genuinely bleed for the club.

But he did something more than that.

He did this:

For the record, Wagner is the current manager who helped the team get to the Premiership, but Mick Buxton – the man the Chairman called to thank – was the manager of Huddersfield at the end of the 1978-79 season, when they were in the old 4th division.

Buxton guided Huddersfield to the third tier with a swashbuckling style that captured the imagination of the 12 year old Dean Hoyle who years later, used some of his riches from selling his greetings card business to buy his boyhood club.

What Dean did is not just an act of wonderfulness – delivered with typical Northern wit – it’s the acknowledgement that the places we go in life can be influenced by many things and being aware of that not only means you may have a more adventurous life, but become a better leader.

Dean Hoyle, thank you for being ace. May Huddersfield continue to prove the doubters wrong.

Read the whole article here.



Finally …
September 18, 2017, 6:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Daddyhood, Family, Fatherhood, Insight

3 days after I arrived in the US, I ordered a new car.

This was momentous for a bunch of reasons.

1. It was only the 2nd car I’d ever bought.
2. It was the first car I was going to have after 15 years.

Of course, because I’m a sad bastard, I wanted all the gadgets in it which meant I’ve had to sit on my hands for 4 months while the bloody thing was built for me.

That might not sound much, but for an only child, that is like being sent to Guantanamo Bay.

Well, after driving Jill mad with continual ‘Youtube video car review’ watching [hey, what can I say, I was really excited about getting it], it’s finally arrived.

Actually, to be specific, it arrived earlier last week but typical of karma getting her own back on me, I was away so couldn’t get to it.

I cannot tell you how hard that was for me. Yeah, I know, it’s a first world problem but it was still bloody painful.

Well, not I’ve got it, I am beside myself with joy.

Every time I look at it I smile a massive smile.

Part of that is because I can’t believe it is mine mainly because I don’t think I deserve it.

OK, so you probably feel I don’t deserve it either, but what I actually mean is that deep down, I don’t feel I should ever be in a position to own such a car. I’m not trying to act humble or anything, it’s just that when I think of my parents – both of whom were smarter and better humans than me – they could never of had such a thing so the fact I can reinforces both how lucky I am and how unfair things are for others.

To be honest, this feeling is one of the reasons I insisted we get Jill a new, new car.

Without going into too much, she’s had a bunch of hardship in her life [and I don’t just mean being married to me] so being in a position to get her something she never thought she would ever have, gave me incredibly happiness.

Of course the ultimate revenge is the fact that the moment you drive a new car out of a dealership, it is worth a good deal less than you paid for it, but what some fail to realise is buying a new car isn’t about practicality but emotion.

I’m not even talking about it in terms of materialism or status … for me, I’m talking about it in terms of being a proper adult.

Well, as ‘proper an adult’ as I’ll ever be.

I appreciate that sounds wank – and it probably is – but now I have a family, a car lets me feel I’m able to do my bit for them.

To take them on adventures.

To let us be more spontaneous.

To just go out and explore more easily.

I get many of you will think this is all an excuse designed to try and justify my choice of car – and maybe I’m kidding myself and this is simply a case of me wanting to have a car, especially when I’m living in the city of cars – but I really feel this will fundamentally change the life we are living here in a great way and that excites me hugely.

Let’s just hope I don’t crash the bloody thing …



Finally, Something Useful On This Blog …

Yes it’s a national holiday in America and yes, I said there would be no post today … but the thought of you not having your daily dose of my blog joy broke my heart so I am doing this for you.

I know, I should be knighted.

Ahem.

Anyway, the wonderful Mark Sareff has written a book.

I’ve written about Mark before because apart from being whip smart, he’s also one of the nicest people on the planet.

[Though I appreciate being being one of my friends and mentors may undermine that declaration a bit]

Anyway, while Mark may not be the best known names in planning, he is – in my opinion – the best planner in the industry and so anything by him is going to be interesting and useful and that is exactly what his book is.

It’s full of fantastic strategy nuggets of awesomeness based on real-world experiences.

It’s fun and quick to read and best of all, it’s free so if you are at all interested in smart thinking without the intellectual bullshit, then download it here … it just may be the first useful thing I’ve ever done for anyone on here.

Right, back to my holiday.



Mask. Cape. Birkenstocks?

So yesterday I wrote about my new birkenstock t-shirt … and I bet you were thrilled with it. Ahem. Well today I’m keeping with the birkies theme, but I’m adding a bit of Hollywood glamour to it.

No, seriously.

You see I was recently reading a copy of Empire Magazine – the film monthly – when there was an article on the classic 90’s romp, Con Air.

For those of you who need a reminder what it’s about, have a look at this.

Did you watch it?

They don’t make movies like that anymore do they.

Sure, it’s bollocks, but it’s absolutely amazing bollocks.

Hmmmmm, that doesn’t look so good written down, does it. Oops.

“So where’s the birkenstock reference”, I hear no one cry.

Well, in the article, they talk about how John Cusack – one of the movies stars – was a bit of a dick on set.

Apparently he didn’t really want to do the movie but – having resigned himself to having to do it – he decided to throw his star power around.

This is how he did it …

Have you read it?

Have you?

Really?

Well if you have, you’ll know that he insisted on his character wearing Birkenstocks.

Yes, bloody birkies!

Apparently his rationale was …

“I want to be the very first action hero who wears Birkenstocks. Charlton Heston wore sandals and he kicked ass. I wanna do the same”.

Amazing eh?

But even more amazing than that is that we now can understand why John Cusack’s career went the same way as MH370.

Which also explains why I ended up in advertising which, a friend of mine recently called, The MH370 of careers.



To All The Haters …
August 29, 2017, 6:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment

Sure, it’s not as good as the politician, Denis Healey’s “like being savaged by a dead sheep”, but it’s pretty good.