The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


There’s A Reason There’s Called Unicorns …

So did you get over your first day back at work?

What was worse … that, or this blog restarting.

Yeah … thought so.

Well I have some good news, because as you read this, I’m on my way to Shanghai.

And there’s better news … this means there won’t be any posts till Friday.

How good is that, 2 days into 2020 blogging and already you’re having a break.

But don’t get too happy, remember I said I would be back on Friday.

So back to those unicorns.

And more specifically, why Wall Street investors like to label certain dot.com companies with that moniker.

Well the answer is easy, because they don’t exist … at least not in the way they claim.

Especially when held under a microscope.

Think about it …

Evernote.

Theranos.

And then WeWork.

Mind you, given how much one of the founders walked away with – despite highly questionable practices, including copyrighting then selling to the company the word ‘we’ – there is definitely a reason why some people are called white collar criminals.

And they say crime doesn’t pay …

See you Friday.

Enjoy the early days of peace.



Premium Disaster …

So before I begin with my post, I have some good news …

This will be the last post for 13 days.

THIRTEEN!

I’m in China all next week and then when I return, I’m having 3 days off – of which one of them is to celebrate Otis’ 5th birthday!

Five. Can’t believe it.

Anyway, I know I’ve just made your impending weekend more enjoyable so have fun and see you when I’m back on the 12th … though there will be a special birthday post the day before for my little one.

So now back to the post …

One of the things I hate is when a client mistakes being premium priced for meaning they have premium customers.

That just isn’t true, even more so now with the access to finance. Seriously, it’s like banks deny the 2008 crash never happened. Mind you, when you’re bailed out by the public, it didn’t.

Anyway …

Being premium priced – especially when the brand is in a mainstream marketing and comparing themself to mainstream competitors – simply means you cost more.

There may be reasons for that cost premium.

Great and valid reasons … but that doesn’t mean the audience who are buying the products are more sophisticated or educated.

If anything, it might be the opposite.

Some may be doing it to overcome their insecurities.

Some may be doing it to satisfy their delusional ego.

Some may be doing it because it represents something they’ve worked – and work – hard for and want to protect or defend or nurture.

But whatever the reason, the vast majority of people who choose these brands are, in the main, everyday people who justify the price premium because they offer something additionally appealing – be it professional, functional or emotional.

There is nothing wrong with this.

There is nothing unappealing about this.

In fact, it is an amazing, given we are talking about people making decisions that cost them more because something is so important to them.

And yet so many marketers want to feel their customers are the wealthiest and most discerning of all, ignoring the fact that if that were true, then their product wouldn’t be premium priced, because for the wealthy, it would be cheap.

I recently had a meeting with someone from a mainstream, mass market brand who tried to convince me their customers were the 1%, despite all evidence proving otherwise. They also tried to claim their marketing was ‘high-brow’ as it meant only the wealthy would truly ‘grt it’.

That’s right, they were suggesting intelligence was linked to wealth.

I know a lot of people may believe that, but even if it were true – which it isn’t – they are mistaking wealth for opportunity … which I appreciate is becoming more and more influenced more by being able to afford a private education given governments are underfunding state options, ignoring the fact an educated population creates greater possibilities for the entire nation.

I digress.

Again.

Sorry, it’s just these are subjects that make me so angry and upset.

Anyway, I cannot tell you how much fun I had putting them right … how much I enjoyed explaining to them that their audience were far more in line with average household income than the 1% … but at the end of the day, I know it was all in vain because every single day, I look at ads and see ‘premium priced’ brands acting like their customer base are better than everyone else, which ultimately demonstrates marketing is less about understanding your audience and more about comforting the boardroom ego.



A Better Waste Of Time …
November 26, 2019, 6:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Confidence, Culture

So I like going down YouTube rabbit holes.

When I’m traveling, I find myself in the middle of the night – jetlagged – spending hours seeing where I end up.

There’s some places I normally start in ….

Football … Video Games … Abandoned Buildings … Fail Army … How Ridiculous … or even People Telling Their Parents They Are Going To Become Grandparents … but within an hour, I’m in all manner of weird and wonderful places.

Recently I came across ProducerMichael.

Funnily enough, he is a UK music/film producer who is living the life in LA.

He appear super successful and basically makes my spending habits look utterly amateur … and yet, even though I should hate him for his over-the-top lifestyle, you can’t help but like him.

Part of it is the enthusiasm he approaches everything.

Part of it is the sense he can’t believe his luck he’s living this life.

Part of it is he is a Brit who has wholeheartedly embraced the American dream.

I wish I’d been able to do that when I was in LA.

I wish I could have just let go of my cynical side and embraced the World where the more you have, the better you are.

But what I like about ProducerMichael is that while he does all that, he still seems pretty open to express both his vulnerabilities and his grandiose idiocies.

Yes he is trying too hard with his earrings and conspicuous consumption.

Yes you never quite get what the relationship is between him and the videorgrapher.

But weirdly, despite the obvious try-hardness to stay relevant, the fact he was obviously successful compared to the countless other YouTube wannabes, he’s a breath of fresh air.

And by that, I mean a more enjoyable waste of your time.



Strategy Is A Direction, Not A Shopping List …

I am getting fed up of hearing strategy talked about in terms of a process.

Of course, there is one, but it seems people seem to value the process more than what it is supposed to deliver.

Which is clarity and direction.

Something that will change the behaviour of the brand/business from the very next day.

Something that will help create a clear position in culture, not just in the category.

Something that will contribute value, loyalty and appeal to the audience that will move them forward.

Something that is focused on the long-term, not just the next quarter.

That’s it.

That’s all strategy is.

And yet, I am meeting so many people who are getting lost in the process or worse, getting lost in the word ‘strategy’ … saying nothing can be done without it being deeply involved at every step – and I mean ‘every’ step – of the process.

Now don’t get me wrong, thinking and expertise is important – but to imply that only someone with the word ‘strategy’ in their title can do it, is wrong.

Actually, it’s insulting … especially when you consider that so much of the magic happens when you invite people who see the World differently to the party.

But it’s happening.

I’m seeing it everywhere.

And what it’s doing is creating so many strands to the strategy discipline, they’re getting in the way of each other.

That might be good for the agency fee, but not great for the work.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying these strands of strategy don’t have value – of course they do – but in many areas, it’s not actually strategy … it’s not delivering on any of the 4 areas listed above … it’s simply helping push along the process of the output to get to a [allegedly] more effective result.

In other words, it’s short-term tuning rather than long term creating.

Adding obstacles rather than taking them away.

Or said more cynically, it’s more tactics than strategy.

Doesn’t have to be.

Not everyone is doing that.

Not everyone thinks like that.

But my god, it seems there is a lot of it about … and when you look at the amount of work that is being produced because of it, you have to admit that while there’s a lot of optimization, there’s not a lot of distinctive, magnetic energy.



Independence Vs Ownership Explained …

David Lee Roth once stated “whoever said money doesn’t buy happiness, didn’t know where to shop”.

I get it … money is epic and makes life easier and – superficially – happier.

But what he didn’t say is that “there’s no amount of money that makes being miserable, worthwhile”.

Maybe it’s because he didn’t know it.

Maybe it’s because he didn’t want to admit it.

But given how he has talked about his toxic time in Van Halen, I am pretty sure he’d agree now … because while there are many benefits to independence [and ownership for that matter, but that’s a post for another day], the one that is the most valuable personally, professionally, creatively, commercially and collaboratively is the ability to be honest with your colleagues and clients.

Utterly honest.

It might not always be the most comfortable meeting – especially if you’ve been an asshole and tried to fuck them over and then beg forgiveness later – but it will always get to a stronger outcome.

After all, they say ‘honesty is the best policy’ for a reason.

Happy weekend.



Aspirational Averageness …

This is kind of an addition to the post I wrote a week or so ago.

You see I recently read a business magazine and almost every article – and I mean EVERY article – had a story about a company that was obviously trying to position themselves as ‘against the ordinary’.

Now while I appreciate anti-ordinary can be manifested in many ways, I couldn’t help but think that all the brands featured were selling products that were the epitome of ordinary.

Now there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Ordinary is both misunderstood and underrated which is why I think it would be great if a company actually embraced and celebrated that’s what they did … however in the context of the companies featured in the magazine, they were suggesting that what they did elevated them beyond all comparison.

I get why they would want to do this.

I get the commercial value of being seen to do this.

But if you’re going to claim it, your products and brands should demonstrate it and in the great majority of the companies featured in the magazine, the absolute opposite was true.

There are probably a ton of reasons for this.

From the ego of management to the job protection strategies of the people below them to the revenue fear of the agencies they work with … but that still doesn’t escape the fact the stuff they made was about as bland as a beige Volvo.

To paraphrase that old joke, isn’t it disappointing the people who know how to create extraordinary products and brands decided to end up making beige and boring instead.



Love Works In Strange Ways …

So good news, this might be the last post for 2 weeks.

TWO.

Though don’t get too excited because it might only be one.

Either way, you have lucked in as it’s definitely the last post of the week because today I’m in Paris and then on Wednesday, I’m off to Lisbon so I can speak at a conference.

Hahahahahahahaha.

I must admit, I still find it hysterical that people want to hear me talk about anything. Especially given all my ‘material’ is available for absolutely nothing on this blog.

Well, if ‘loss of brain cells’ is absolutely nothing.

And yet I do enjoy talking at conferences …

I like the process of trying to think of something interesting to talk about for the audience.

Working out the best way to get the message across without falling into the deadly presentation paralysis.

Then adding the stories that will either make the audience semi-like me, think I’m a cheeky bastard or just plain hate me.

I say all this but I bet the only reason I do get invited is to be the court jester to the audience – and given the wonderful Mr Weigel will also be at the same conference – I’m even more sure of this fact.

But what it means is I’m away till Monday so with that I want to leave you with a delightful story I’ve just heard about.

In the early 80’s, Queen worked with a German producer called Mack.

He was quite revolutionary for the band – helping change their sound and way of recording – which meant they were one of the few artists who went into the 80’s stronger than when they were in the 70’s, culminating in some of their biggest ever hits.

Another One Bites The Dust.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love.

Under Pressure.

Radio Gaga.

I Want To Break Free.

Unsurprisingly, Mack got very close to the band and asked Freddie Mercury to be his eldest sons godfather. And it’s to this background I read this story from Mack about what happened on his sons birthday.

Have a read, see you Monday and here’s a link to the video being talked about below.