The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


If You Thought Fragrance Ads Were Mental Before …

Fragrance ads.

They are a law to themselves. All whimsical romance or overt seduction expressed in contrived, theatrical and over-acted ways.

I get selling smell using visual mediums is hard, so wrapping it up in some sort of concept makes sense … except when every one of those concepts is the work of someone who is obviously off their face on coke.

Sure, some can be funny.

Those horrific, pretentious Gerard Butler ads for Boss ended up being comedy gold … and the recent Johnny Depp ‘Sauvage’ campaign – that was hijacked by the public – turned out to be an act of genius but in the main, we are exposed to a plethora of commercials that feature a beautiful actor/actress getting paid a fortune to destroy their credibility against a backdrop of an overly produced stage set, a contemporary – but utterly bland – sound track and unsubtle messages of shining bright etc etc.

However recently I saw something different.

Kinda.

Because while it follows the well-worn path of the fragrance category, the script, acting and production values are so low, you would expect it to be an ad for a ‘Everything For A £1’ shop not Emporio Armani.

To make matters worse, it seems the people behind the ad sold it to the client by saying …

“We are targeting 40+ couples who hate each other.

They yearn to go back to a time where they were together out of choice, not because they have a mortgage to pay.

A time where they hung our spontaneously, not because they have to do the weekly shopping.

To connect with them, we will tell a story of a young couple falling in love.

We will capture the intensity of a developing relationship where they are intoxicated with each other.

We will incorporate scenes from classic films or ads from their youth – from 50 Shades Of Grey and those old Nescafe Gold Blend ads from the late 80’s/90’s to the classic ‘cycle to the moon’ scene from ET … though it could be more BMX Bandits, it all depends on how much budget you give us.

In essence, we are not selling perfume, we’re selling marriage guidance in a bottle”.

At this point, I imagine you’re wondering what the hell I’m going on about … well ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls … sit back and all will be revealed …

But please have a bucket ready for the flow of vomit that will be coming your way.

50 Shades Of Grey/Gold Blend Inspired Bollocks …

ET/BMX Bandits Inspired Shite …



When Advertising Stinks … Of Women’s Feet …

So I saw this ad recently in Amsterdam airport.

Now maybe it’s just me, but when I think of Jimmy Choo – I think of expensive women shoes, so when I think of Jimmy Choo as a male fragrance – I think of an expensive scent that smells of women’s feet.

I’m not sure this is the product expansion they went to do. Yet.

Another thing they shouldn’t have done is use the words, URBAN HERO.

No offense Jimmy Choo … but they are the least appropriate words that could ever be used in connection with your brand.

Urban?

URBAN????

You have spent years banging on about how the Jimmy Choo universe is one filled with galas and fashion shows.

Even the image shows the bloke [cut off at the ankles I note] sitting in front of some pristine, clinical ‘feature’.

Sorry, but you’re about as urban as Prince Andrew claiming he had Pizza Express in Woking.

And then there’s the word hero.

Hero?

Hero of what exactly?

Pretentious pricks?

Put them together and you get more evidence that many – but not all – who operate in the fashion world are more out of their head than any member of the Happy Mondays at their musical peak.

I hate everything about this ad.

EVERYTHING.

But then given they have made it about a man who smells of women’s feet and called him an urban hero, I don’t think I will have to worry about it being around for too long.



There’s A Reason There’s Called Unicorns …

So did you get over your first day back at work?

What was worse … that, or this blog restarting.

Yeah … thought so.

Well I have some good news, because as you read this, I’m on my way to Shanghai.

And there’s better news … this means there won’t be any posts till Friday.

How good is that, 2 days into 2020 blogging and already you’re having a break.

But don’t get too happy, remember I said I would be back on Friday.

So back to those unicorns.

And more specifically, why Wall Street investors like to label certain dot.com companies with that moniker.

Well the answer is easy, because they don’t exist … at least not in the way they claim.

Especially when held under a microscope.

Think about it …

Evernote.

Theranos.

And then WeWork.

Mind you, given how much one of the founders walked away with – despite highly questionable practices, including copyrighting then selling to the company the word ‘we’ – there is definitely a reason why some people are called white collar criminals.

And they say crime doesn’t pay …

See you Friday.

Enjoy the early days of peace.



Premium Disaster …

So before I begin with my post, I have some good news …

This will be the last post for 13 days.

THIRTEEN!

I’m in China all next week and then when I return, I’m having 3 days off – of which one of them is to celebrate Otis’ 5th birthday!

Five. Can’t believe it.

Anyway, I know I’ve just made your impending weekend more enjoyable so have fun and see you when I’m back on the 12th … though there will be a special birthday post the day before for my little one.

So now back to the post …

One of the things I hate is when a client mistakes being premium priced for meaning they have premium customers.

That just isn’t true, even more so now with the access to finance. Seriously, it’s like banks deny the 2008 crash never happened. Mind you, when you’re bailed out by the public, it didn’t.

Anyway …

Being premium priced – especially when the brand is in a mainstream marketing and comparing themself to mainstream competitors – simply means you cost more.

There may be reasons for that cost premium.

Great and valid reasons … but that doesn’t mean the audience who are buying the products are more sophisticated or educated.

If anything, it might be the opposite.

Some may be doing it to overcome their insecurities.

Some may be doing it to satisfy their delusional ego.

Some may be doing it because it represents something they’ve worked – and work – hard for and want to protect or defend or nurture.

But whatever the reason, the vast majority of people who choose these brands are, in the main, everyday people who justify the price premium because they offer something additionally appealing – be it professional, functional or emotional.

There is nothing wrong with this.

There is nothing unappealing about this.

In fact, it is an amazing, given we are talking about people making decisions that cost them more because something is so important to them.

And yet so many marketers want to feel their customers are the wealthiest and most discerning of all, ignoring the fact that if that were true, then their product wouldn’t be premium priced, because for the wealthy, it would be cheap.

I recently had a meeting with someone from a mainstream, mass market brand who tried to convince me their customers were the 1%, despite all evidence proving otherwise. They also tried to claim their marketing was ‘high-brow’ as it meant only the wealthy would truly ‘grt it’.

That’s right, they were suggesting intelligence was linked to wealth.

I know a lot of people may believe that, but even if it were true – which it isn’t – they are mistaking wealth for opportunity … which I appreciate is becoming more and more influenced more by being able to afford a private education given governments are underfunding state options, ignoring the fact an educated population creates greater possibilities for the entire nation.

I digress.

Again.

Sorry, it’s just these are subjects that make me so angry and upset.

Anyway, I cannot tell you how much fun I had putting them right … how much I enjoyed explaining to them that their audience were far more in line with average household income than the 1% … but at the end of the day, I know it was all in vain because every single day, I look at ads and see ‘premium priced’ brands acting like their customer base are better than everyone else, which ultimately demonstrates marketing is less about understanding your audience and more about comforting the boardroom ego.



Moments To Be Grateful …

As most of you know, a few months ago I wrote a post about how I had experienced the slow, systematic destruction of my confidence by bosses who had an inherent need to feel in control.

Of everything.

The post caused such a stir that it led to me starting the Corporate Gaslighting site.

While the majority of the hundreds of people who wrote to me were to scared to have their story put online, there are countless examples of management bullying that people have experienced and made to feel was their own fault.

Recently I worked on a project with an incredibly talented creative called Alex Holder.

One night, while sitting together trying to work out how to deal with a particularly difficult situation, we started discussing office bullying and bad management and found we had both experienced it in different guises.

While we both got out of our situations and have been able to move forward, we also know that is not the case for everyone and I told her about Corporate Gaslighting.

She was incredibly supportive of my endeavor and said she wanted to help.

To be honest, many people say that – and while I don’t doubt their intention – often things get in the way of them doing that.

But not Alex.

First of all she sent me a bunch of articles she had written linked to the subject.

Then she pointed people she knew in my direction.

But recently, she has written an article on the subject for Grazia magazine and ensured TheyTriedToKillMeButI.Live was name checked. [See Below]

I am insanely grateful for her support and for doing this.

Not because it legitimises what I am trying to do but because it raises awareness of the issue and hopefully will help someone experiencing this treatment to know they’re not alone, it’s not their fault and there are people ready to help.

Huge thank you to Alex – and Grazia Magazine – it means more than you know.

[You can read it more clearly here]



Best Of The Best Or The Least Bad?

Today I’m judging the Effies.

Oh awards …

I’ve written so, so much about them in the past.

Like here. And here. And here. And here.

I must admit, I am intrigued to see what they are going to be like in the UK.

Will they be a celebration of insightful efficiency or will they be like I experienced too many times in Asia, a stream of consciousness that just rumbles along till they think they have explained how they got to their idea and how they have proved it worked.

I guess we shall see later today.

I really, really hope they are good.

Not just because the Effies have always had a standard they’ve lived up to, but because it will give me faith the industry still has fight in it to do things right.

In my time in the UK, I’ve read a bunch of planning documents/portfolios/resumes that have been more about packaging.

Repeating a client brief in a way that has been ‘sexed up’.

Superficial.

Executional.

Literal.

There are a bunch of reasons for this.

Part of it is the lack of training agencies give their strategiests.

[Hence why we started the School of Strategic Arts]

Part of it is the huge amount of freelance planners out there who are doing exactly what they are asked because they are fighting for their livelihood.

And part of it is because of the client/agency remuneration deals which means planners are giving too little time to explore the best outcome to the problem they face.

Planning has a valuable role to play in effectiveness.

Planning has a valuable role to play in creativity.

But it needs to be allowed to do it to make it happen … so here’s hoping we see the best of what it can do today, because the Effies is not just important for the people who win, but for what the industry needs to get back to being.



A Glimpse Into Past Normality …

Following on from yesterday’s post about Concorde I thought I’d post a sign I saw hanging in the ‘food preparation area’ of an old British Airways plane …

The fact smoking was once allowed on planes is amazing.

The fact they had to remind staff not to smoke while preparing food is mind-blowing.

But they did … because back then, having staff not smoke while preparing food was classed as ‘hygienic’, regardless of the fact being stuck on a plane with cigarette smoke working its way through the cabin at 30,000 feet was not.

Thank god those days have changed …

And that’s the thing with history, you often look at it and wonder, ‘what the hell were people thinking?’ but then you look around at the state of the World today and you realise we’re still making stupid decisions.

Whether it’s brexit or the rise of nationalism, millions of people are making decisions as stupid as allowing smoking on a plane.

Or smoking in general.

Of course, this is ultimately fueled by individuals who claim to be acting in societies best interests but are really getting the masses to act in ways that suit their own personal agenda … be it for money, fame or ego.

There’s an old proverb that says ‘those who forget history are destined to make the same mistake again’. Personally I think that needs updating to “those who only remember the bits of history that suit them are destined to lead us all into the shit”.

People will claim this is democracy, but it’s not really.

Apart from the fact anyone can win anything if you lie through your teeth, true democracy requires EVERYONE’S opinion to be heard. Maybe it’s time we follow Australia’s lead and say it is a requirement that everyone votes on issues of national importance. Maybe if that happened and people still voted for Brexit [albeit with issues that were true rather than fear mongering] the country would be less broken apart.

It won’t happen. Too many people with power and money will make sure that’s the case … and that is why anyone who still thinks we live in a democracy better not complain when decisions go against them.

Sorry, I got ranty there, I’m just so angry someone like Boris Johnson has got what he wanted regardless of the cost to everyone else. He and his cronies should be charged as enemies of the country … which may happen once everyone see’s the damage a No Deal Brexit has on their everyday life.

Oh, before I go and have a lie down … a little message to Dave.

Mate, I know today is a hard day for you. As usual, we are all thinking of you and will give you a call later.

Big hugs.