The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Some Scams Might As Well As Have A Neon Sign On Them, Flashing Scam …

Just like great PR is never seen.

And great conspiracies, always feel plausible.

Great scams should never let you doubt their validity.

Yes, I know a while back I wrote that Bernie Madoff had said that success is as much down to the individuals greed as the scammers ability to appear legitimate … but fundamentally, if something is too good to be true, it probably isn’t.

Which is why the ad above is probably the criminal equivalent of infant school.

Let’s face it, you don’t call yourself ‘Mystery Shopping’ if you’re going to tell everyone what they’re getting and the likelihood that SONY would allow an external company to promote to all and sundry that you can play on their yet-to-be-released new gamer machine is – and I appreciate I may be being a bit cynical here – ABSOLUTELY ZERO!

On the bright side, it does show clients that as professionals in communication, adland is much better at manipulating people than criminals. Or at least amateur criminals.

So at least we have that going for us. Ahem.

Sorry gomysteryshopping.co.uk, you’re going to have to up your game.

Or at least not make such stupid, basic mistakes.

Wait for all the consultancies that will now approach criminals with proposals to improve their efficiency and effectiveness. Now they’re definitely not ‘amateur’ criminals.



Just Because You’re Talking Doesn’t Mean You’re Communicating …

I’m writing this post on the 28th May, so who the hell knows what’s happening a month from now. Actually I’m lying, as I have a pretty good suspicion about a few things, at least to do with me, so it will be interesting to see how wrong or right I am.

But I digress.

This is about the British Government’s communication strategy, specifically when they went to phase 2 of their COVID-19 strategy and launched these guidelines to help the British public deal with the pandemic.

As we all know by now, there was a lot of debate.

Some said they were clear.

Some said they were ambiguous.

And so rather than help the nation as a whole understand their situation and what was needed to help us move forward, they ended up igniting the nation in debate about wording, leaving people to interpret what the hell they wanted.

A conspiracy theorist may suggest this was done to stop people looking at the huge death toll that had happened due to Boris Johnson’s shambolic handling of COVID. A theory only made compelling by the way Johnson suddenly announced the UK was ‘re-opening’ mere hours after he had publicly backed his advisor, Dominic Cummings, for breaking the rules he had helped force upon the entire British public in an obvious attempt to distract the public’s attention. Made even worse by the fact Johnson had apparently almost died with COVID, so he knew first hand how dangerous it was and as such, should not back anyone who had the symptoms and then knowingly broke the rules. And as a final insult, the way he backed Cummings – suggesting it was what ‘all parents would do’ literally pissed on the faces of the parents and children who went through incredible hardship [from not seeing loved ones, to not attending loved ones funerals] to obey what was asked of them. An utter, disgusting way to behave.

But I digress. Again.

The point I want to make is that while all this argument was going on – specially around what ‘Stay Alert’ meant in practical terms, Vic Polkinghorne, @vicpolky on twitter, wrote a tweet that put the debate to rest.

They wrote:
____________________________________________________________________________________

Note on clear/unclear communication (one area I do have some experience)

If some people find it unclear, it’s unclear.

If you find it clear and some people find it unclear, it’s unclear.

The responsibility for clarity of comms is with the communicator, not the recipient.
____________________________________________________________________________________

That’s a good lesson for anyone in the communication industry.

An even better one for the British Government.

Now if only they were open to constructive criticism or gave a shit about anyone outside of their chummy little privileged gang.



The Future Of Adland Is Warm, Fuzzy And Colourful …

And before you think I am taking the piss with that title – which I am, a little bit, especially as with Corona, few people are out on the streets and no one knows what is going to happen with the entire industry, though it’s not looking good – I noticed this more than the majority of ads, even though they have had millions of pounds spent on audience research, concept testing, UX development and communication planning.

That’s not to say that stuff doesn’t matter – it obviously – but when the objective is to ‘fit in’ rather than ‘stand out’, you end up with crafted beige rather than ideas that literally demand to be noticed and explored.

Of course, it’s better if the way you grab people’s attention is with stuff that emotionally intrigues them rather than just makes them snort in derission, but even that is still better than walking past and not even noticing it, let alone not giving a shit.

You can tell it’s going to be a positive week can’t you?

Well don’t be in too much despair as I have 3 bits of good news for you.

1. It’s my FIFTIETH birthday on Friday.

2. There won’t be any posts all of next week as I’m on holiday.

[Though there will be messages of love to Jill and Paul who both have birthdays that week]

3. I am on holiday because Paul and I thought we were going to have a joint 50th involving traveling to different countries, but with Corona, it means I’ll actually be spending it at home … with a cup of tea … watching loads of episodes of Come Dine With Me. Christ Almighty!!!

See … told you I could cheer you up, even if everything is on fire around us.



Saying You Care Means Nothing If Your Actions Show You Don’t …

One of the things that has shocked me since coming back to England is the amount of gambling that goes on here.

Not just in terms of people actually doing it, but brands trying to get people to do it.

It’s everywhere.

Football shirts. High Streets. Apps. TV shows.

I know it shouldn’t really shock me as there has been so much written about it in the papers, but the sheer volume has blown me away.

Another thing that has blown me away – for equally bad reason – is the way the gambling companies are trying to portray themselves as good citizens.

That all their ads say, ‘When the fun stops, stop’ – or some variant of it – might sound like they care, but apart from the fact there’s countless stories of them actively encouraging people who are demonstrating the have a problem with gambling to keep going, it makes no sense.

Because the moment you realise gambling has stopped being fun, you’re pretty likely to be in the grip of addiction.

Or said another way, it’s too late.

Once upon a time, I was in that place.

I was young and the amount of money we’re talking is minute … but I was in a full-on addiction to fruit machines.

I was still a student and working part time as a pot washer, and within seconds of receiving my weekly pay packet, I’d be feeding all of it into a fruit machine.

Occasionally I would win big (£25) but most of the time I’d spend my weeks earnings within minutes – leaving me without a penny.

Now I’m lucky, I was able to stop – mainly because credit was not readily available back then, because if it was, who knows what shit I would have got myself into – but I can still remember how much I hated myself when I lost but how excited I was when I was about to begin.

And yet, despite knowing what I was doing to myself, I was unable to stop myself for months.

While I would not wish that on anyone, it was a hugely valuable lesson.

It taught me I have an addictive personality and helped me to manage what I do and don’t expose myself too.

Sure, I buy a shitload of pointless gadgets, crap t-shirts, guitars and Birkenstocks. But it’s also why I haven’t tried any alcohol since my last taste 34 years ago, why I’ve never tried any drugs and why I never tried smoking – though that one was easier, as I’ve always hated the smell.

I do believe that people have to take some responsibility for the decisions and actions they take – but addiction is something we have to accept, skirts the rules of logic.

You become helpless and need controlled.

And given the impact certain addictions can have on people is loss of health and/or loss of livelihood and family … having a note in small letters at the end of an ad that has spent 29 of the 30 seconds celebrating the excitement and glamour of gaming – and then puts all the burden of managing addiction on the victim – seems pretty shit.



I’m In A TV Ad …

Well that was quite a week.

Otis is doing OK.

He’s feeling much better and we’re hugely relieved.

Even though the risk of kids suffering severe health issues due to corona is very small, seeing your child not well is always hard – made 10,000 worse with the media all revelling in making it sound like the bloody plague.

That said, it means we are in quarantine for another fortnight, but them so is the whole country.

Fortunately Jill and I don’t look like we have caught anything, but then it’s a 2 week incubation so who knows.

On the positive, if I do, it will mean I’ve hit the virus jackpot – which is something to be proud about. Maybe.

So back to the title of this post.

Scarily, it’s entirely accurate.

To be honest, I’ve been in quite a few ads in my time.

Blackcurrant Tango.

Triple J.

Even a Nike spot.

But never have I been one of ‘the stars’ … but I am now.

Take a look at this.

The best bit is this ad was seen by someone in Portugal who was as shocked to see me in it as I was when to find myself in it. Though I note they used a photo that doesn’t really show my face … which is obviously very wise indeed, but not quite as wise as it would have been to not invite me to talk with Mr Gladwell in the first place.

Which was going to be my long way of saying this is the last post for a week but Corona Virus screwed with the conference so now you will see me on Monday.

And you thought the effects of Corona couldn’t be any worse!