The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


The Daily Mail Gets Into The Spirit Of Halloween …

I always thought the ghosts and ghouls of Halloween came out on the night of the 31st October, but the Daily Fail … I mean, Daily Mail … have shown me I am wrong in that assumption with quite possibly the most pointless ‘news story’ that they have ever printed.

Yes, I know you might find this hard to believe given they’ve printed such gems as how to get the Kim Kardashian look or the cat that looks like Tom Selleck or the lion that looks like a cartoon lion or, not forgetting, z-grade reality star almost steps into a puddle … but this is worse. No really.

Are you ready?

Are you peeping out from your bedsheets?

OK … so here we go.

Jesus Christ …

I know England is footie-mad but even the most devout Man United fan is not going to give a shit about this … especially given black t-shirts and jeans are about as common as getting mugged by an acne-ridden, drug-taking, 17 year old scamp in Manchester city-centre every Saturday night.

Seriously what next?

Is it even feasibly possible to go any lower?

Paul McCartney runs out of toilet paper?

Ice-Cube adds ice cubes to his drink?

When you think of some of the great journalists out there and all the trials and tribulations they have gone through to bring their important stories to the World, the Daily Mail pisses over all their efforts and legacies … and given the Mail website is one of the most visited places on the internet, that means the fashion of some footballers is going to be the topic of more people’s conversations than the state of the World.

And if you want something scary to think about this Halloween, you can’t get scarier than that.



We Were Wrong All Along …
July 27, 2015, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment, Daily Fail, Daily Mail

… The Daily Mail isn’t a newspaper, it’s the British version of The Onion.

Now everything makes sense. Including this.

After all, no ‘serious’ newspaper would ever run this as a major story when there’s so much going on in the World that needs genuine reporting.

I feel such a fool. Way to go Daily Mail.



How Nice Of The Daily Mail To Hire Blind Journalists …
July 22, 2014, 6:15 am
Filed under: Comment, Daily Fail, Daily Mail

I give the Daily Mail a lot of shit.

If you look back at some of my old posts, I have accused them of bad journalism … hypocrisy … racism … and while that is all true, I have come to the realisation they are not all bad.

In fact, they might have a heart of gold.

Why?

Because it’s become apparent to me that the reason they end up doing the things they do is not mean spiritedness, but disability.

Yes, disability.

Not of the brain, but the eyes.

I know … I know … you’re wondering what the hell I’m going on about.

Well the answer is simple, what other possible reason could there be for them to write an article like this:

No offence, but I don’t think she looks ‘exactly’ like Elsa from the movie Frozen.

She’s a human and Elsa’s a cartoon for a start.

But hey, I don’t want to mock the blind – after all, after my retina collapsed, I am not that far off being legally defined by the same term – so please accept my apologies for all the ridicule I’ve thrown your way Daily Mail, including the time I mocked you for another looks like article [when it looks nothing like the person you were describing]

You’re a guardian for the disadvantaged.

A pillar of society

A beacon of hope.

Or you could just be a bunch of fucking idiots.