The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


They’re Always Close To You …
February 22, 2019, 6:16 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Happiness, Home, Love, Mum

A few days ago, I received this.

I say ‘I’, but it was addressed to my Mum.

It was an election notice from the Italian Government.

Now I know it’s a bit weird that they are sending something to my Mum, to her old house in England, when she died almost 4 years ago, but it feels so lovely to get it.

Especially given the terribly sad situation regarding my Mum’s sister that occurred this week.

While I’m not a huge believer in ‘signs’, I can’t help but think this is a sign …

Thanks for reminding me you’re always watching out for me Mum.

I’m glad you and your sister can be together again.

Love you. Miss you.

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For Auntie Silvana …
February 19, 2019, 6:15 am
Filed under: Comment, Dad, Family, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad, Silvana

Outside of my Mum and Dad and my best friend Paul, Auntie Silvana has been involved my life the longest.

From my earliest age, I remember her always being there – whether that was arguing with my dad about politics or showing us around London on one of our frequent trips to visit her.

Despite facing many challenges in her life, Auntie Silvana – like her sister – was a fiercely independent woman. She never wanted to rely on someone else for help which is why she could be incredibly stubborn if she disagreed with something someone was trying to make her do. But when I think of her, the memories that flood my mind are of an incredibly kind, incredibly considerate, humble yet generous person.

She only ever wanted the best for others. She would encourage you every step of the way. And when you achieved something – however small – she would celebrate it with genuine happiness and celebration … never wanting or expecting anything in return.

There are so many things I am thankful to Auntie Silvana for. From giving me my first ever television to taking me to my first theatre show to helping my family when we needed it most.

She was a wonderful, kind, worldly and cultured lady and while I am devastated she has gone, there are 3 things I am grateful for.

1. She was able to continue living an independent life till the end. Given her eye problems, that’s testimony to her tenactity.

2. I am able to be here to let her know how much I loved her and how much my wife, Jill and my 4 year old little boy – Otis (who called her ‘Auntie Nana’) – did as well. I will forever be grateful she got to hold my son given my Mum sadly passed away before she could meet him in real life.

3. I am able to repesent my Mum and Dad – who are no longer here but would absolutely want to be if they were around – so they could share their love for her and say thank you for all you did.

Silvana, you were an amazing Auntie to me.
An amazing sister to my Mum.
And an amazing friend to my Dad.

Words will never be able to capture how much I thought of you and while the pain of your loss will last a long, long time … the memory of you will last far longer.

The World is a little less kind for your loss.

I’m happy you can be reunited with your family.

Say hi to Mum for me and thank you for everything.

Tanti Baci.

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My Dearest Silvana …
February 18, 2019, 6:15 am
Filed under: Family, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad, Silvana

So on Saturday, my Auntie Silvana passed away.

She was an incredibly kind and generous person but – like my Mum, who was her younger sister – she was also fiercely independent.

A few weeks ago she suffered an illness and sadly, while there were some positive signs, she ultimately succumbed to her ailments.

I am devastated for so many reasons.

The main one is obviously that she’s my Aunt.

She loved me and always wanted the best for me, Jill and Otis.

The second is she was incredibly kind to my family, especially Mum – who loved her so much.

During my early years, she was almost like a guardian angel to us when we encountered some tough times.

The final reason is that she is the last of her generation …

The last link to a group of wonderful people who defined so much of who I am.

While I am happy she is no longer in pain or suffering, I am so, so sad that she has gone.

Her loss will be felt for so long but her memory will last a lifetime.

Goodbye Auntie Silvana. Love you.

Rx

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Valentines Day Might Not Be About Love, But That’s No Reason To Not Talk About Love …
February 14, 2019, 6:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Love, Valentine's Day

Don’t worry, I’m still away.

And there won’t be another post tomorrow.

But I couldn’t let today pass without writing something.

As many of you know, I hate Valentine’s Day.

I’ve written about my hatred of this day for years … because the truth is it’s far more about fear than love.

But this year I’m going to change the narrative.

I still think Valentine’s Day is an act of marketing evil, but as it is supposed to be about love, I’m going to express it.

To my wife.

My wonderful, supportive, kind, clever and beautiful wife.

Since we met, I have taken Jill on a hell of a rollercoaster ride.

While I could argue she should have seen the warning signs when I was rushed into hospital within weeks of us meeting [resulting in her first conversation with my Mum being her saying I was having an emergency operation] … the reality is in the 15+ years we have been together, we have experienced, encountered and enjoyed about as much variety of life as you could get.

Birth.
Death.
Adventures.
Adversities.
New countries.
New languages.
Hopes and dreams.
Disappointment and broken promises.

There’s not many people who would leave their home and family to follow a guy she’d only met 6 weeks earlier.

There’s even less people who would then move to Singapore, Hong Kong, China, Los Angeles and England … with the last 3, all happening in the space of 2 years.

And there’s even less people who would do all that when the guy in question is me.

But through it all … through absolutely everything, including the ridiculous Jillysim blog … Jill has stood by me, supporting me and cheering me on, even during times when she could have rightfully said ‘can we press the pause button?’.

Nothing says this more than our time in LA.

Of all the places we lived, she particularly loved the Californian coast.

Not because of the sun, the beach and the lifestyle – but they helped – but because she had a real and vibrant friend network there.

Taking her away from that broke my heart.

She could have said ‘no’ … but she wanted to do what was best for us, not just for her and she knew I wasn’t enjoying my time in LA as I hoped I would. Because of that – and her commitment to us and our relationship – she swapped sun for rain and has embraced everything that has come her way – stuff that has tested many things that are important to her – with openness and acceptance.

I am a stronger and better person because of my wife.

She cares about me in a way that is both wonderful and unbelievable.

Everything I have achieved in the last 15 years is because of her support, brains and commitment to us.

She’s an amazing, talented woman, mother, daughter and all around person.

And while she knows I loathe valentines day with all my heart, I am happy to use this day to say I love her with all my heart.

I owe her so much and so much more.

I still can’t believe I got this lucky.

I love you Jilly.

Rx

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We Are All The Same Even If We Are Different …

I have written a lot about how we are bringing up Otis.

What we want for him, what we want him to value.

I have also written about the education we want for him.

A none-religious, state school that celebrates creativity as much as the more traditional academic pursuits.

Sadly I know there are many people out there who think we are mad for the choices we make, but as I have also written, my advice to them is to look after their own kids upbringing and leave ours to us.

That said, following these ideals is not easy.

Apart from the simple issue of access, the reality is most schools and kids companies focus on structure, stereotypes and grades because that is what most parents – and Governments – seem to value most of all, so for us to go outside of that takes effort and commitment.

None of this means we don’t want Otis to have a quality education – of course we do – it’s just that when it comes to what we think ‘education’ means, we see it going beyond the importance of reading, writing and maths.

We want his school to help him develop a love of learning.

Give him the ability to practice critical thinking.

An openness and comfort to express himself openly and creatively.

But there’s something more – something we feel very strongly about – which in part is one of the reasons we’re against religious and private schools.

You see we want him to learn that stereotypes limit, control and create prejudice.

That just because you’re a different gender or come from a different heritage or have a different sexual preference doesn’t mean you can’t aspire to – or achieve the same level as – anyone else.

And while it’s a small thing in the big scheme of things, it is the reason why I love that Otis’ school had a black Santa visit them last Christmas.

Of course Otis didn’t care, comment or even probably notice … but for the other little kids who come from different backgrounds, they saw a face that could give them comfort, confidence and courage about who they are, where they come from and what they can achieve and who wouldn’t want a school that teaches kids – all kids – that.

Education is so much more than just grades and while this is not all of the schools responsibility, it is part of their responsibility.



Humanity From A Calculator Company …

So how was your first week?

I don’t mean being back at work, I mean reading this blog.

Depressing wasn’t it.

Well I want to leave you with a little bit of positivity.

As many of you know, my Mum helped develop the calculator that is pictured above.

It’s one of the reasons why I’ve continued to use the one she gave me for the past 35+ years.

That – and the fact I’m crap at maths – so ended up using it more to type 55378008 than work out any trigonometry challenge.

Or basic addition.

Anyway, to my mates, it’s as identifiable towards me as my Birkenstocks – even though when I was at school, they took the piss claiming it was as big as one of the BBC Micro Computers we used in class.

Sadly, when we were moving to London from LA, the stupid movers broke it.

Not just interns of it not working, but in terms of cracking the actual case.

I was very sad, because – like the Braun Bedside Clock – it was something that was a real connection to my parents, so I wrote to Texas Instruments on the off-chance they could fix it.

Unfortunately they said any attempt to repair it could cause more damage so instead they’re sending me a mint condition, new-old one as a tribute to my Mum.

I cannot tell you how happy and thankful I was to hear this news.

I cannot tell you how much I love the people at Texas Instruments.

A company that makes office tech showing more heart than companies that claim to be in the people business.

They didn’t have to do that.

They could have just ignored my email altogether.

But they didn’t, they listened and they tried to help.

We could all learn from this. Especially companies who claim to be in the people business.



You Can Tell How Proud Someone Is By How They Act …

I’ve written about my best mate and his new venture, Frothy Coffee.

Well a few weeks ago I went to Nottingham to see him and I have to say, it made me so happy.

Not just because he’s doing really well or even how he’s doing it – though some of his ideas would put big agencies to shame [offering dog biscuits and water so dogs get used to stopping at his stall so their owners end up buying a drink] -but how he is between customers.

The way he cleans.

The way he tidies.

The way he looks around to make sure everything is right.

The way he prepares for what might be coming up.

The way he makes warm, welcoming comments to people passing by.

He loves it.

Every single thing shows he absolutely loves it.

And you know what?

That feeling is infectious.

You want to have a coffee at his place.

You want to have a chat and even a sit down.

He pulls people in and suddenly strangers start chatting.

The love and pride he has in his job translates to something special … something as warm and welcoming as his drinks.

Everyone should feel this way, but not everyone does.

Many dream of starting their own thing, but few do it.

And to them I say they should go and see the Frothy Coffee man, because when you see the pride and joy Paul has doing his own thing, you’ll realize that no amount of fear can stop you wanting to feel that fulfilled.

I’m so happy and proud of you Paul.

[And you Shelly … the best YTS assistant I’ve ever seen]