The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


The Happiest Place On Earth …

Following on from yesterday’s post, I’ve taken today off so I can take Otis for his first visit to Disneyland.

I can tell you right now he is going to absolutely bloody love it … and I have to tell you I’m glad he will because it has cost the equivalent of the GDP of a medium sized European nation and I’d be devastated to have to sell a kidney for something he won’t enjoy.

As much as I can be rather skeptical about Disney, I have to say they know how to capture kids imagination.

I still remember taking Otis to a hospital in Shanghai and – as soon as he clapped eyes on the TV showing Frozen – his pain and tears disappeared to be replaced with a hypnotic state.

So that’s where I’ll be today and then I’ll spend the weekend trying to recover from it as well as hope my beloved Nottingham Forest end the season on a high, which – given the position they were in last season – already feels like they’re playing in football Disneyland.

Now I know finishing mid-table in the Championship may not seem the sort of thing anyone should celebrate, but when you’ve had the turmoil we’ve had over the last 20 years – and especially the last 5 – it’s feels really good to have a team that is occasionally in the news for the way they’re playing football rather the way the terrible ex-CEO was playing with the club and it’s finances.

So in a way to honor Nottingham Forest being slightly less shit than they were last year [when they were super shit] I hereby reproduce my ‘everything for a £1’ shop version of one of my favourite Nike/Wieden ads ever.

Horrific isn’t it?

Especially compared to the original.

Putting aside the fact I’m wearing something ‘Adidas’, it’s a bit like comparing a pair of Hi-Tec trainers to a pair of NIKE’s, but then that’s like comparing the current Forest side to the team that dominated Europe in the early 80’s.

Or – said another way – how it feels to be a Forest fan for the last couple of decades.

So now I’ve ruined your weekend, I’m off … see you Monday.

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How To Tell You’re Getting On …
January 19, 2018, 6:14 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Culture, Daddyhood, Fatherhood

In December, I went to more Christmas parties than I have done in years.

That’s not because I’d suddenly become popular – oh no – it’s because you didn’t really have them in China, mainly because the only role for Christmas was to extract cash from expats who were missing home than to celebrate the actual occasion.

Anyway, there was one week where I was out till 3am on two consecutive nights.

I know … I know …

What made it even more amazing is that on both following mornings I had to be up at 5:30am which meant I had a total of 5 hours sleep over 48 hours.

Once upon a time I would have been fine with that.

Well, maybe not fine – but I could have managed. But this time, I felt like I had literally been run over by a truck.

So much so that when I went out for lunch with an old Wieden [NIKE] colleague that weekend, I apparently spent so much of our time telling him how knackered I was, that he sent me this.

Nice huh?

Prick.

Which all goes to explain why the thing I look forward to the most at weekends these days – after doing my fatherly duties of running around an insanely energetic 3 year old for a few hours – is sleeping rather than partying, which also explains why this post from 2014 is even more relevant today than it was then.

Have a great weekend.

Zzzzz Zzzzz …



Perfect Days In My Mind …
November 3, 2017, 6:15 am
Filed under: Dad, Daddyhood, Family, Fatherhood, Jill, Mum, Mum & Dad, Otis, Parents

Today would have been my Mum’s 85th birthday.

Eighty Five.

I would have flown in to see her. Probably, surprise her.

I did that a couple of times.

Once when I was living in Australia and once when I was in Singapore.

And on both occasions – when she went outside supposedly to help my best friend Paul bring something into her house, and when I hid behind a huge bouquet of birthday flowers – the surprise on her face was utterly adorable.

And because of those occasions, I know what would have happened if I surprised her today.

First she would have stopped dead in her tracks … trying to work out how I was in front of her when she thought I was on the other side of the planet.

Then she would have had a huge smile on her face as she walked towards me to give me a huge hug and a big kiss on the cheeks.

Finally she would tell me how happy and surprised she was, before saying she had to go and make up my bed immediately.

And even though it would be her special day, she would want the focus to be on me and we would have a little back-and-forth as I would insist I was there to celebrate her, not the other way round.

And I would win – not because she liked having a fuss being made of her, in fact she hated it – but because she knew I was happy when she let me make a fuss over her and me being happy made her happy too.

Just to be clear, her version of what ‘a fuss’ was, wasn’t a fuss at all.

I’m talking about having dinner together and talking and just enjoying each others company.

And while Mum would love it, I know she’d be thinking she was taking me away from other things I could be doing so I’d have to remind her I was there for her and we would laugh and hold hands and say how lovely it was to be together.

I would give anything to have that happen today.

Especially as this time, I would have Jill and Otis with me.

And that would make her think it was her best birthday ever.

Because she would get to watch Otis run and laugh around her little garden.

And get to hold his little hand while she went around telling him what all the flowers were.

And get to hear him say “thank you” after he’d wolfed down the pasta she would have lovingly made for him.

And while this all happened, I’d see her radiate with energy and love.

Filled with a spirit that only meeting your grandson for the first time can give.

And while she would desperately try to stop herself kissing Otis’ cheeks over and over again for fear of making him uncomfortable, every interaction would provide her with a joy she would not have felt for a very long time.

I wish this was how today played out.

I wish this was not just happening in my mind.

But it is and while I’d prefer the real thing, I am happy I can picture this in such detail.

It makes me still feel close to my beloved Mum.

The kindest, most generous and considerate person I’ve ever met.

And while I know she can not read this, a little part of me wishes she could.

Because I want her to know the love I have for her is as strong as it ever was.

And this is a small way of showing her that.

As will be the little thing I’ll be doing at work today in her honour.

Happy birthday my dearest Mum.

I miss you, love you and hope Dad is giving you an extra hug today.

Comments Off on Perfect Days In My Mind …


Finally …
September 18, 2017, 6:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Daddyhood, Family, Fatherhood, Insight

3 days after I arrived in the US, I ordered a new car.

This was momentous for a bunch of reasons.

1. It was only the 2nd car I’d ever bought.
2. It was the first car I was going to have after 15 years.

Of course, because I’m a sad bastard, I wanted all the gadgets in it which meant I’ve had to sit on my hands for 4 months while the bloody thing was built for me.

That might not sound much, but for an only child, that is like being sent to Guantanamo Bay.

Well, after driving Jill mad with continual ‘Youtube video car review’ watching [hey, what can I say, I was really excited about getting it], it’s finally arrived.

Actually, to be specific, it arrived earlier last week but typical of karma getting her own back on me, I was away so couldn’t get to it.

I cannot tell you how hard that was for me. Yeah, I know, it’s a first world problem but it was still bloody painful.

Well, not I’ve got it, I am beside myself with joy.

Every time I look at it I smile a massive smile.

Part of that is because I can’t believe it is mine mainly because I don’t think I deserve it.

OK, so you probably feel I don’t deserve it either, but what I actually mean is that deep down, I don’t feel I should ever be in a position to own such a car. I’m not trying to act humble or anything, it’s just that when I think of my parents – both of whom were smarter and better humans than me – they could never of had such a thing so the fact I can reinforces both how lucky I am and how unfair things are for others.

To be honest, this feeling is one of the reasons I insisted we get Jill a new, new car.

Without going into too much, she’s had a bunch of hardship in her life [and I don’t just mean being married to me] so being in a position to get her something she never thought she would ever have, gave me incredibly happiness.

Of course the ultimate revenge is the fact that the moment you drive a new car out of a dealership, it is worth a good deal less than you paid for it, but what some fail to realise is buying a new car isn’t about practicality but emotion.

I’m not even talking about it in terms of materialism or status … for me, I’m talking about it in terms of being a proper adult.

Well, as ‘proper an adult’ as I’ll ever be.

I appreciate that sounds wank – and it probably is – but now I have a family, a car lets me feel I’m able to do my bit for them.

To take them on adventures.

To let us be more spontaneous.

To just go out and explore more easily.

I get many of you will think this is all an excuse designed to try and justify my choice of car – and maybe I’m kidding myself and this is simply a case of me wanting to have a car, especially when I’m living in the city of cars – but I really feel this will fundamentally change the life we are living here in a great way and that excites me hugely.

Let’s just hope I don’t crash the bloody thing …



Oh Dad, I Miss You So Much …
September 15, 2017, 6:15 am
Filed under: Dad, Daddyhood, Death, Family, Fatherhood, Love, Mum & Dad

So on Sunday, it would be my Dad’s 79th birthday.

That means he has been gone 19 years.

NINETEEN.

That blows my mind because in some ways, it only feels like a couple of years since he died.

Obviously I wish he was still here.

Healthy.

Happy.

With Mum by his side.

And if he was, I would be sending them tickets to come to America.

To see their only son.

Their daughter in law.

The beloved grandson.

And we would sit in our back-garden in the evening sun and talk while we looked at Otis running around, doing his ‘missions’.

And at some point, I would stop and look at them all interacting … conscious of how special this moment was, trying to take it all in.

Dad’s kind eyes.

Mum’s beautiful face.

My wife’s happy smile.

My son’s infectious joy.

With a backdrop of laughter and love … all mingling together in a way that made it absolutely perfect.

A perfect I’d want to remember forever because in some ways, it would be everything I had ever wished for and wanted.

Happy birthday for Sunday my dear Dad.

Not a day goes by without me thinking of you.

Rxxx



You Wish Your Child Was Like My Son … Asshole
July 21, 2017, 6:10 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Family, Fatherhood, Love, Otis, Parents

That photo is of my son, Otis.

He is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

He is cheeky, curious, kind, loving, beautiful and absolutely full of energy.

Now I’m sure most parents would describe their child like that, but based on a situation we experienced recently, it seems even other parents would regard Otis’ energy as being at another level.

Maybe it’s because he was restricted from going out in China because of the pollution.

Maybe it’s because he’s just loves being with other kids.

Maybe it’s because he is excited and curious about life.

Whatever it is, he can make the Energizer Bunny look like a sloth – and while we love seeing him run around and laugh – some other parents view this as a fault.

A few weeks ago, he was running around while some other kids were sat on the floor. He wasn’t bothering them, but in his excitement, he accidentally fell onto another child.

The reaction of both this other kid – and their parent – was extreme.

They acted like Otis had attacked them, even though he got up and [remember he’s only 2 1/2] said sorry and patted the child on the arm as a way of apologising. [We did the same … apologise I mean]

Apparently that wasn’t enough, because the parent came right up and ‘suggested’ Otis should be given a 2 minute time-out as punishment.

Fuck you!

Who the hell are you to try and dictate how we deal with our son?

Who the hell are you to try and curb his enthusiasm for life?

It was an accident. If it wasn’t, he would have been reprimanded, but he’s a sweet, caring, happy kid and all he did was fall over because his energy was running faster than his little chubby legs could go.

But as much as this parent fucked me off, it taught me a valuable lesson.

Before, when parents saw Otis running around like a happy lunatic, they would say things like, “He’s got a lot of energy hasn’t he?” and I would respond with a World-weary sigh and say something like, “You have no idea.”

But now I don’t.

Now I look at the person and say, “Yes, isn’t it awesome”.

Because it is.

As is my son.

And I’m not going to help a stranger feel better about their self-declared parental expertise by putting him down.



Just When You Thought It Was Safe …
June 19, 2017, 6:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Family, Fatherhood, Otis

So I’m back.

I know … I know … the thought horrifies you. If it’s any consolation, it sort-of horrifies me too.

A huge amount has happened in the month or so I’ve been in LA, but the most important thing is we have settled.

To be honest, it’s been quite quick.

While Jill and I have done this a few times – as has the cat, Rosie – for Otis, it’s been a big change and the kid has handled it brilliantly.

Sure he’s missed his friends, toys and beloved Yaya … but he’s been awesome and I couldn’t be prouder.

I am a massive believer that one of the key criteria for success – or survival – is the ability to adapt to changing times.

That doesn’t mean you have to change your standards or your interests or even what you love, it’s just that you have to embrace the new rather than desperately hold on to the past.

That might sound hypocritical coming from me – a bonafide sentimentalist – but the reality is, my willingness to go where things excite me has enabled me to have the experiences I’ve had and hope still to have … so seeing my son be so positive about such a dramatic change of environment makes me feel he is already setting himself up for a life of adventure.

OK … OK … so maybe I’m overthinking all this, especially as Otis didn’t really have many options available to him once his parents decided to move to LA … but seeing him reach out to kids his age in a bid to bond and form friendships is wonderful to see.

Of course I feel a tinge of sadness witnessing it because I know part of his behaviour is because he feels a sense of isolation and I did that to him and I hate that I did that to him … but watching him adapt to his situation on his own accord is brilliant, especially when so many agencies are still trying to act like it’s the 1980’s.