The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Can Anyone Miss Home This Much?

Despite being half Italian, I identify myself as British.

And I love my country.

I do.

I know I don’t live there, but it is still somewhere very precious to me, both for my memories and my friends.

My Britishness affects quite a lot of what I do and how I do it.

Even to this day, if I see ‘bangers and mash’ on a menu, I’m going to have it.

It doesn’t matter if I’m in London, Shanghai or Vietnam … it’s going to go into my gob.

And when I do go home, I absolutely adore stocking up on old favourites.

Monster Munch crisps.

Double Decker chocolate bars.

Kebab Cob Special from Nick the Greeks on Radcliffe Road.

Of course it’s not just food that makes me feel British, but I mention this because I recently got served this ad on Facebook.

Look, I get how nostalgic food can make you feel.

And yes, I appreciate how irrational our emotions can be.

But seriously, who the hell would be nostalgic for beef stock cubes.

Especially pretty shitty beef stock cubes.

Suddenly I don’t feel anywhere near as sad as I thought I was.

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PS: If you want to get a taste for British regional ‘cuisine’ – as well as good old fashioned banter – check out the comments in this awesome article about the Wigan ‘pie sandwich’.



Welcome To Delusional …

I get pester power.

I understand how that dynamic can work and works.

I also know the airline industry is very competitive and the A380 hasn’t been as super-successful as was originally expected.

But – and it’s a really big but – I’m not sure that tactic will convince an airline carrier to suddenly start buying A380’s.

Not just because those planes – or any plane for that matter – are the sort of thing you buy on a whim, but because most airline travellers tend to choose the carrier rather than purely the plane they will be travelling on.

And then there’s the bullshit of their domain name.

iflya380.com

Look, I know the actual name of the plane is A380 – as in Airbus 380 – but the inclusion of the ‘a’ makes the domain name sound like it’s the passengers who fly the bloody thing.

As in I FLY A 380.

Why couldn’t they change it to ilovea380.com or itravela380.com?

Yes, I know I’m sounding John Doddslike, but it makes something bad even worse … and don’t even get me started on how utterly boring the website actually is when you go to it.

Honestly, what do they think this campaign is going to do?

What the hell are the KPI’s for this campaign?

And seriously, how the hell are they justifying ‘the passengers favourite’.

I would absolutely kill to know the thinking behind this work because in a weird way, it has put me off Airbus and A380’s … and judging by fact they’ve only received 14 emojis – of which at least 1 is ‘shocked’ – it would seem I’m not the only one.



The Gift That Keeps On Being Held Back …

So after the big news on Friday – at least big news for me – I thought I’d start this week with evidence that while my life will be changing, this blog will remain painfully the same.

A few weeks ago, I received an email from an industry magazine – based in Asia – saying I qualified for this.

To be honest, I was kind-of excited.

I love Wired and to get it free was going to be a lovely gift.

They even highlighted I didn’t need to provide ‘credit card’ info which meant it wasn’t a scam.

Hurrah!

So I quickly clicked on the link.

All they needed was my address.

That’s it.

Yes …

And so I quickly filled in the form, pressed send and then saw this on the screen.

“THIS OFFER IS NOT AVAILABLE TO PEOPLE IN YOUR REGION”

Eh?

What?

I did it again.

Same result.

I checked the email once more.

Clicked on the link once more.

Filled in the form once more.

Same result. Every single time.

Now I appreciate it’s not Mercury Magazine’s fault as they weren’t the people who sent me the original email, but you’d think that the company who did – who, let’s remember, are based in Asia – would have checked the people in their fucking region could receive what they’re supposedly offering them.

But it appears they didn’t … which means the special place I have in my heart for them, is one of hate, rather than love.

All because they were either lazy or stupid.

It blows my mind something as basic as this could be so badly done, which should serve as reminder to everyone in the industry that if we want to regain the respect we once enjoyed, it’s about what we do rather than what we say.



Details … Details … Details …

Maybe it’s because I’ve broken the screen on my iPhone 7 three times.

Maybe it’s because I work in advertising.

Or maybe it’s because I’m a sad bastard …

But this ad bothers me a lot.

No … it not the terribly contrived ‘real life’ image.

Nor is it the fact 25% of iPhone 7 owners are clumsy fucks.

It’s the fact the company – Tech 21 – make such a deal of being iPhone 7 specialists AND THEN USE AN IMAGE IN THEIR AD THAT ISN’T OF AN iPHONE 7!!!

Why?

Seriously why?

Don’t tell me there isn’t a stock shot available because I did a quick look and theres loads of them.

No one behind this campaign comes out of this looking good.

The agency look like they were lazy bastards and the client looks like they don’t care.

Seriously, why should I trust a company about their iPhone 7 protection when they don’t even know what an iPhone 7 looks like.

This sort of thing drives me bonkers.

Literally bonkers.

It’s not hard to get this right.

It’s the least they should be doing.

If I was a competitor I’d absolutely jump on this.

Mind you, if I was at the agency/client behind it, I’d be jumping on people’s heads.

So come on adland, let’s not give people even more ammunition to question what we do and how valuable it can be for business. Seriously, get a fucking grip.



Is Women’s Day In Danger Of Becoming Earth Hour?

Let me start by saying that Women’s Day – and Earth Hour – shine a light on very serious issues.

Issues that should be on top of everyones mind without the need for a reminder.

I also want to say that I appreciate everything has to start from somewhere – but I’m genuinely concerned that Women’s Day will end up going the same way as Earth Hour … where society thinks if they engage on the day, then they’ve done all they need to do for the rest of the year.

I’ve written about this in the past.

While this approach is a great way to ignite a social debate about very serious issues, they often end up – at best – only having a 24 hour impact or, at worst, becoming a superficial celebration of a specific day.

Earth Hour have struggled to combat this … as demonstrated by them adding ‘+’ symbol to their logo … but it will take more than that to maintain an interest for the general population.

But at least Earth Hour has been interpreted by society as a commitment to helping the environment, because I’m not sure the same level of clarity can be said of Women’s Day.

Just recently I heard of a company who honoured the females in their company with a range of gifts consisting of an oven, a quilt and a set of pots and pans to name but a few.

I know for a fact they didn’t mean it to be offensive … quite the opposite … but this highlights how many people/companies have totally misunderstood what Women’s Day is actually about and why it is important.

To further highlight the issue, I heard that some guys wanted to start a ‘Man’s Day’.

These were intelligent, Worldly men – not Neanderthals – and if you spoke to them about equality, they’d be passionately behind it, and yet they didn’t see how their suggestion would completely undermine the importance of this day for the females in their company.

And that’s my worry.

Because equality is a fucking important thing.

Something that requires more than a day of awareness … but if that is the route we need to go down to try and ensure the debate is not allowed to be placed in the shadows, then we must at least ensure the purpose of the day is clear because frankly, while it’s fun that Burger King renamed their Shanghai store for the day, it means little if the only reason they did it was for superficial topicality.

I’m not saying that’s why they did it, but momentarily changing your brand name or giving out gender reinforcing gifts highlights that the real purpose of Women’s Day could be in danger of becoming as superficial as adding a Q&A element to the Ms World competition.



When You Can Tell A Company Has Lost It …

I’ve written a lot about GoPro.

I’ve bathed them in adoration … highlighting how they were born from their community, which enabled them to create communication that literally inspired the growth of their community, not to mention a whole new multi-billion dollar industry.

I’ve also written a bunch about how other brands simply don’t get it … like Kodak and Nikon.

So it absolutely breaks my heart that GoPro are fucking up.

I’m not just talking about their product issues – or their reluctance to innovate – but the one thing they used to do flawlessly.

Their ads.

Look at this …

OK, they’ve kept their ‘in the middle of the action’ imagery.

And yes, they’ve kept the message mercilessly short.

But look at it … that visual hardly screams ‘live action’ and that message is a perfect example of corporate blandom and passiveness.

However there is an even bigger question.

Why – just why – did GoPro walk away from their absolutely brilliant ‘Be A Hero’?

I honestly think that is one of the best lines since Just Do It and yet, within a few years, they’ve seemingly walked away from it and for what?

To keep things new and fresh?

If that’s what they think then they have utterly failed.

It might be new but it’s certainly not fresh.

‘Be A Hero’ was brilliant because it perfectly encapsulated the spirit of the brand and the people who use their products.

It was a line that could last a lifetime. I genuinely believe that.

This obsession with an annual ‘relaunch’ is ridiculous.

That isn’t how you build something … but it is certainly how you destroy it.

Look, I know end-lines don’t make a brand, but they do effect how culture views them.

I know some people don’t agree with that – thinking end lines are old hat – but my response is if NIKE walked away from Just Do It and replaced it with something like ‘Feel Amazing’, I’m pretty sure everyone would think they’ve lost their spirit and edge.

A bit like going from ‘Be A Hero’ to ‘Capture Different’.



When We Put Our Heads Up Our Asses …

So this is hard for me because it not only involves an agency I like very much – Droga5 – but it also involves a number of personal friends.

So over the past few months, there’s been a campaign for Email marketing platform, MailChimp.

Not that you’d know it, because the campaign has been about creating seemingly random ads for things with names that kind-of sound like MailChimp but never actually say it.

Hence we’ve had all sorts of things like FailChips and SnailPrimps placed all around NYC.

And why?

Because when the brand sponsored the hit podcast ‘Serial’, someone in the promo mispronounced the brand as “MailKimp” and Droga5 thought that could be a fun way to advertise the brand.

That’s right, spend a shitload of cash doing a bunch of things that never actually mentions the brand name or relates to what the brand does.

This is how a Mailchimp exec explains it …

“We used mispronunciation as a creative device to inspire all kinds of different executions, knowing that people would be curious about what they were seeing and search for more information”.

What?

WHAT?

Now I accept there is a good chance I might be wrong, but are people that curious?

Do people give a flying fuck about this sort of thing?

Maybe they do, which means I can’t help but wonder how they felt when they discovered what it was really all about.

Were they pissed off they’ve just been part of a marketing scam?

Or maybe they ended up being massively disappointed by what they discovered it all to be about.

Or did they go, “Wow, that’s amazing” and immediately sign up for their service, even if they didn’t need it.

I have a feeling it’s not that likely to be the last option.

Don’t get me wrong, I know people love to ‘discover’ stuff, but I’m not so sure that means they love discovering they’ve just been had.

All of this feels like the people behind the campaign either watched one too many bad spy movies or took Malcolm Gladwell’s ‘tipping point’ a tad too literally.

But it gets worse.

Much worse … because this ‘strategy’ of mispronouncing the brand name – according to the credits released with the campaign – required 7 strategists.

SEVEN.

What did they do?

What is the bloody strategy in any of this?

I appreciate that sometimes the biggest insight is there isn’t one … but even then, you don’t need 7 strategists. Hell, even if you were doing a campaign to solve world hunger, you wouldn’t need seven strategists.

WHAT IS GOING ON!?

I love Droga5 and I massively respect my friends who were involved in this campaign, but this all smacks of early dotcom advertising and we know what happened to the majority of those brands.

Actually I’m wrong, because at least those ads focused on people remembering the name.

This isn’t advertising, it’s anti-advertising and while the industry might think that’s something cool and worthy of aspiring too, in the real World – or at least The Guardian – they know it’s a great advertisement for saying our industry has its head up it’s own ass.