The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

The Final Countdown …

So today is the first of December.How the hell has that happened?

Wasn’t it February 2 weeks ago?!

I suppose the good news is there’s only going to be 2 more weeks of blog posts for the year.

Which – given I only write this rubbish on weekdays – means 10 more posts.

And two of those will be sentimental claptrap … one for Otis’ birthday on the 11th and then some shit ‘2017 wrap up’ … which means you only have 8 truly pathetic posts to endure.

Christ, it’s like I’m giving you your Christmas present early.

But no, I’m going to give you more.

Much more.

Are you ready?

So recently I was sent a TV ad for Rolls Royce.

You didn’t think Rolls Royce made those did you? Neither did I.

And while the song ‘Everybody Wants To Rule The World’ is an inspired choice, the rest of it is utter pants.

Like utter, utter pants.

It’s absolutely obvious they’re trying to appeal to a younger audience, but the end result says far more about the insecurities of the marketing team at RR – and their agency – than the people they want to engage.

Seriously, I’ve watched it countless times and I’m increasingly coming to the opinion that the only thing they’re actually selling is a ‘colour option’ on the car.

Have a look at this …

What the hell?

Like seriously, what the hell?

It’s like the worst of pretentious fragrance ads interspersed with the most terrible choices of product shot.

Like that analogue clock.

A bloody analogue clock!!!

The whole thing seems to go from being dark and moody to a 1980’s conservative MP in the blink of an eye.

What are they actually trying to say?

More so, who are they actually trying to say it too?

As I mentioned, the choice of music is brilliant. There’s such a powerful idea in the whole thought around ‘for those who want to rule the World’ – and while you could argue Bentley did it before with their brilliant, but scam, ‘Middle Finger’ print ad, that’s still no excuse for making a bad version of a James Bond movie opening title sequence or a very, very, very bad version of Dunlop’s brilliant 1993 ‘Tested For The Unexpected’ ad, just without the charm, wit, self-awareness or story.

Rolls Royce are amazing car makers.

They have incredible attention to detail, quality and – as the star roof demonstrates – a sense of drama.

Nothing in this ad conveys this. Nothing.

All this ad shows is a brand suffering some sort of identity crisis.

Wanting to appear relevant but showing they don’t really know how to be because they mistook an aesthetic for authenticity.

They deserve more.


God Bless Communism …
October 1, 2016, 7:30 am
Filed under: China, Chinese Culture, Culture, Cunning, Holiday, Unfair Life, Wankers

Want to know the definition of bittersweet?

Knowing you have a weeks holiday from my blogging because from today, China has a week-long national holiday.

That’s right, I’m going to be on holiday. Again.

Yes … I know I had one only a few weeks ago and I know I had a month off only about 6 weeks ago, but hey, I’m just a humble servant of the Communist party so don’t blame me.

So unless you live in LA – because I’ll be knocking on your door – enjoy the break, because I know I will. Till the 10th …

Fake It Till You Make It. Even If You’ll Still Be Faking It …
August 11, 2015, 6:20 am
Filed under: Comment, Cunning, Pretentious Rubbish, Social Divide, Unfair Life

Sometimes life reminds you that it doesn’t matter how hard you work, how well you do, how many academic qualifications you gain, how much you try, it’s the people with connections, wealth or a loud-mouth who often get the accolades.

I can’t really complain given how much my gob has helped me over the years, but I recently saw the success of someone I vaguely know that is so outrageous, it makes Paris Hilton look like she has had it tough.

On one hand, I should applaud him because he got off his arse and did something that corporates like and want.

But on the other hand, I know it’s all down to his rich Dad … because having watched his acceptance speech of some major industry award, he continues to spout the same stunted, superficial, irrelevant, mental bollocks that he did when I worked with him 10,000 years ago.

Which leads to the moral of the story.

Life isn’t fair.

Which is why because of this, you may as well have a go chasing whatever job/company/position excites you, because someone is going to get there and there’s a very good chance it will be someone who doesn’t deserve to be in that seat either.

And I’m the living proof.

But my ex-colleague is the 100%, absolute definitive definition of it.

Why Companies Are Wasting More Money With Internal Meetings Than At Client Lunches …
August 10, 2015, 6:20 am
Filed under: Entertainment, Experience, Minimum Wage, Social Divide, Unfair Life

… especially in Asia, where over the years, I’ve attended meetings that frequently have 20 people in them, even if only 2 were needed and only those 2 actually comment.

And if you think Asia can afford to do this because salaries are so low, they need to look again.

We’re getting to a point where for certain roles, in certain industries, expats are becoming a cheaper option than local talent.

Of course not all the time – and an expat is pointless if they don’t know something about local culture – but there are an increasing number of situations where this is the case.

It wouldn’t be so bad if overall standards were superior, but the job-hopping attitude of millennials means salary levels are being pushed to ridiculous levels without the experience or talent to necessarily justify them.

Not only does this mean average talent is pricing themselves out the market [though an amazing amount of companies seem to be paying it], it also means overall standards are falling because people not qualified to have certain jobs are being given them as they are the only ones willing to accept the salaries on offer. [Mainly because it’s more than they would otherwise get]

In essence, we’re entering a period of corporate devolution, which if I was a CEO in a company, I’d be scared shitless of. Except I’ll probably be leaving in 18 months with a big, fat cheque so that can be someone else’s problem, can’t it.

Mind you, if you are a talented local – of which there are lots, including many millennials – then the future has never looked so bright, which is very exciting for me to see … though I hope they don’t fall pray to the ‘good enough is good enough’ attitude that is currently rewarding so many for so little.

Based on the people I know and work with, I live in hope.