Control Life, Don’t Let It Control You …

Control Life, Don’t Let It Control You …

July 17, 2009, 6:12 am
Filed under: Comment

One of the things I find quite humouress is the reaction I get when people find out I didn’t go to University.

It’s especially amusing when this fact comes out while I’m speaking at Asian conferences because almost immediately, the audience splits into 2 specific groups …

1/ The “He-must-have-terrible-parents” mob.
2/ The “Why-the-hell-are-we-listening-to-him-then” crowd.

To be fair, I can understand why the #2 group would say that – I wonder the same thing– however underpinning their reaction is the fact Asia doesn’t regard education as just a provider of ‘knowledge’, they regard it as the pathway to success and progress – so having me on a stage, someone who openly admits he chose not to further his formal education, is seen as potentially setting a dangerous precedent regarding how far you can go without formal education.

Now whilst success and progress are things everyone wants to achieve – in Asia they have even greater significant meaning – because it’s more than just individual achievement, it taps into the cultural values of the region that basically dictates each family generation must go further than the one before.

This is not just about material acquisition [though it’s becoming more so these days] it’s about anything that represents progress from being the first to embark on further education to starting a company to going an overseas placement etc … however underpinning all this is, quite correctly, the importance and power of education – however sadly, rather than it being about acquiring knowledge that can drive fresh thinking, ideas, approaches and dreams, it tends to translate into a singular process and theory by which anything that fails to meet that pre-determined criteria is viewed as wrong.

I’ve written about this in the past – as well as the dangerous implications it can lead to – however that is not what I want to write about.

Recently Kaj asked me the ‘university’ question – and for the first time I realised why, back in the late 80’s, I decided it wasn’t for me.

Contrary to popular opinion, it wasn’t because I was too thick … nor was it because I don’t value education … infact, I would say that I am one of the biggest and most passionate advocates of formal education [even though I don’t believe it should be run as an independent profit centre] it was that I wanted to feel in charge of my destiny rather than let someone else decide my fate.

Now that’s big talking so let me explain …

I was a good student at school.

I was diligent, my grades were good and I was actively involved in all classes.

Infact apart from a couple of incidents involving my Father and my Art and History teachers [who both ended up with their tails between their legs, which mortified me even more], I only ever heard good things from my teachers.

Unless it was exam time.

Like many kids in Asia experience today, I was educated at a time where your exam results represented everything.

It didn’t matter if you had 1000 ‘grade A’s’ through the year, if you failed your end of term exams, your life [as you thought you wanted it] was over … and that ‘pressure’ really got to me because despite studying and revising diligently, the moment I went into an ‘exam hall’, I would literally be paralysed with fear.

This wasn’t something that happened just one year – it happened every year – and whilst my parents and teachers were great trying to help me out, the UK’s education policy had led me to believe that those exams would dictate how my life would turn out and the fear of failure was so great that my brain would literally shut down in panic.

Now you might think that’s all dramatic – and it probably was – however an incident with a careers advisor reiterated that fear to such a degree that at one point, I thought my life was over before it had even properly begun,

Basically I went to see this guy and told him I was interested in doing law or journalism.

After hearing me talk passionately about these subjects for about 10 minutes, he looked at my prospective exam grades [that bore no resemblance to the marks I’d got in class] and said I’d never get to do either of those professions and should instead explore a career in catering management.

CATERING MANAGEMENT!

Look there’s nothing wrong with that job – and I know he was probably just trying to manage expectations – but the way he did it and the way he paid no value to my personal ambitions/interests and goals meant he almost crushed my spirit irreversibly. I say ‘almost’ because I was in the very fortunate position to have parents whose encouragement, beliefs, values and attitude ensured I was brought up believing you should follow the things that you are the most passionate and/or interested about because often you’ll find a way to make parts of it happen, and thank god for that or my life could be very, very different to what I currently enjoy today.

So here’s the thing …

When I finished school, I wanted to go to college and study, however because of my exam grades, I had to literally beg to be let in.

After a few weeks or tooing-and-froing, I was accepted on the proviso my first 2 assignments achieved a minimum grade of ‘PASS’.

Jesus, how thick must they of thought I was … however as I said, my day-to-day work was fine ,,, which is why 2 years down the line – and a course grade based exclusively on course work – I ended up in the top 5% of all students in the UK who took that particular course.

From ‘charity case’ to top 5% in 2 years …

Now I admit the course wasn’t the most demanding of things, but my attitude hadn’t changed in all that time so the only difference between ‘failure’ and ‘achievement’ was the willingness of one lecturer at my local college to give me a break.

So anyway, after all this, the next logical step was to go to Uni … and whilst my parents wanted me to go [and I was accepted by a couple of places] … I chose not to go.

Whilst I gave my parents a bunch of reasons, I’ve literally just worked out the underlying reason why I felt – and still feel – it wasn’t for me.

I wanted to fail on my own terms.

That’s it. I wanted to be in a position that if I failed, it was because I genuinely screwed up rather than some other person deciding whether I should be allowed to ‘go on or not’.

Sure working life still has elements of that … but for me, it was a case of being judged on the everyday, not just at significant moments and whilst I appreciate Uni isn’t like that anymore, the way the education system has been imposed on me left such an indelible mark that I chose to do my learning through other methods rather than formal education.

This doesn’t mean I am one of those that talk about ‘the school of life’ … that’s not what this is about … I love learning, however rather than go into a formal education system, what works for me [and what I’m fortunate to be able to do] is find other ways to achieve it, which often means finding experts in areas I am interested in and paying/bribing/pleading with them to pass on some of their knowledge.

The reason I write all this is because in Asia in particular, the attitude is that someone without education [read: degree and/or MBA] is a second-class citizen and what makes it worse is that companies seem to embrace this thinking so we end up with a region full of wannabe bankers and lawyers, forcing those with bigger plans and ideas to either keep them to themselves or move abroad to stand a chance of fulfilling them and that’s a tragedy – not just for the individuals, but for the countries they come from.

Of course there’s some great people like SMU’s Mark Chong who encourages his students to hear alternative viewpoints and ideas … and I am talking to LucasArts in Singapore about creating an ‘alternative’ job centre for the people who don’t fit the mould of the typical school leaver/graduate… but the reality is that until the regions Governments [especially in the rich countries] start celebrating, promoting and encouraging the entrepreneur with the same passion as they do CEO’s, then I expect my parents will continue to have their ears burn when I speak at Asian conferences.

I’m not trying to talk anyone out of education, I’m just trying to encourage people to use it for what they really want to achieve rather than submit to what it wants you to do.

[PS: If you need inspiration, click here or here. They’re old, but gold]

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